I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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