we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
