So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
