i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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