Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize