Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
