We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
