Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
