so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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