You really coming over, don't trick.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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