ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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