I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
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