The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
