By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
