i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
