he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
