this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
