we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
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All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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