You smell like stripper and shame
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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