She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
