i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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