I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
