My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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