My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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