white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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