We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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