if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
