hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
