If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
