so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
