i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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