Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
