he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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