So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
