He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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