How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize