You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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