It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
