on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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