Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize