toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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