yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
