I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
