Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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