i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think your dad took our porno
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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