yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's shark week go big or go home
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
