Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
