It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
