I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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