nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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