a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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