Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
