I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
